MARION KANG
Claiming Ownership through Community and Creation
Dance is perceived as a creative outlet, a form of expression, and for many, a fun hobby.
We look at dancers who are established in their craft and feel inspired
to move as they do – at least, that’s why I was first drawn to it.
Dance was a way to be confident in myself and feel capable, especially as someone who grew up in a household that only anticipated high academic and career expectations. One of these expectations included pursuing further education at the University of Toronto, which meant I would move to a new province away from my family.
Ironically, complying to this expectation gave me the perfect opportunity to explore this unconventional interest on my own and in the past 7 years in Toronto, I was able to gain confidence and capability through dance – just not in the way I initially thought.
The biggest struggle I had as a student in the Toronto dance scene was the seemingly limited ways of learning and definitions of success.While the artistry of dance in Toronto is unlike any other city, I felt inclined to assimilate to certain styles of learning and train as an aspiring industry dancer would, even though there was no intention to pursue it at that level.
It was difficult not to get caught up in how others were training and not draw comparisons because of how often it was celebrated. I look back at my journey now and acknowledge that while this is still a pretty common struggle for many dancers, sometimes all it takes is realizing your true intentions to find the opportunities that are meant for you.
After affiliating with several Toronto dance teams and participating in numerous productions, I recognized that there is more to being a dancer than just dancing. While training and practicing dance to improve is necessary, what drives me to dance is the community that comes with it.
The late-night rehearsals, team bonding socials, and even the memes sent through group chats are all parts of the process that make the physical and mental labour of dance worth it.
Over the years, placing myself in spaces that varied in demographic, dynamic and leadership made me discover a lot about myself as a person and importantly, my morals and values when it comes to dance.
Having my morals and values in dance also led me to discover a profound passion for creating choreography. I realized that I don’t like performing as much as I like creating, which sounds a little silly for a dancer to admit – perhaps even considered outside the norm.
But by admitting that preference and being drawn to spaces where my needs and wants were accommodated, dancing never felt more genuine and purposeful.
It became easier to put myself in spaces I used to feel insecure in because instead of being in a constant state of comparison, I was motivated by a drive that was truly unique to me. That drive has led me to where I am today with dance – directing performances, teaching choreography and being a leader in a community.
Being labelled as a leader is a symbol of status and skill, but honestly, bearing that title can be quite burdensome. On top of the unwanted public perception, it insinuates that I have knowledge and truth to offer to others.
But I don’t think my place in the Toronto dance community is because I’m an expert or professional when it comes to dance. Rather, it comes from having been and continuing to be a student.
Watch Marion’s diary @mhj.kang
